So a girl is reading a text while walking down the street and falls in an open man hole and her family is suing because people shouldn't have to take responsibility for their own safety. I should be able to walk down the street with my eyes closed and nothing should happen to me!
Found Michael Jackson's nose! Oops...no I didn't. Just a Brazil nut.
An amateur astronomer discovered that an Earth-sized object crashed into Jupiter. An amateur!!!! You mean all of these professional astronomers at NASA and all these prestigious universities who are getting paid the big bucks missed this!! It was Earth-sized!!! You know what that means if it would have hit the Earth!!!
Why is it split pea soup? Whole peas are too big to fit in a soup?
Michael Vick is reinstated into the NFL. Didn't think he had a doggone chance. Wonder what team will fetch him? They should keep him on a short leash for a few months.
Isn't a near miss a hit?
So YOU had Michael Jackson's nose all along! Or at least the closest thing to it. His actual real nose hasn't been seen since 1987.
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