Reality Bites

I have a good idea for the next great reality show. A bunch of unhappy TV viewers go to the sets of all these shows and let loose some havoc. We can start by dropping of boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts to Survivor Island (and maybe the set of the Biggest Loser too). We can make Simon sing "Tip Toe Through The Tulips" at gun point while Paula Abdul dances behind him high on pixie sticks or whatever she's on. We send some New York taxi drivers to pick up everyone from The Amazing Race and that will easily cut the show down to a half hour at least. Here's a reality show: Kidnap Gordon Ramsey and hold him hostage at an Arby's for a week. Image 'ol Gordo having to woof down Beef 'n Cheese, greasy fries and Mr. Pibb everyday for a week. I'd watch that. Speaking of beef, what's my beef with these shows? Well, first of all, it's not reality. Secondly, since when did humiliation and degradation become entertainment. We've come along way from Alan Funt hiding a hidden camera and catching the reaction of some unsuspecting kid who opened what he thought to be a can of peanuts only to have a stuffed snake pop out and scare the living bejesus out of him. Now we have to terrify people by making them get into a box and dumping worms on top of them, or gross people out by making them eat the worms when they are finished laying in them. Or humiliate them by telling them they have a voice like a dying sea gull, or that they are fat, or that the man they thought loved them is cheating on them. So we can watch them break down and cry for the camera. What is wrong with the world? Does taking pleasure in other people's misery make people feel better about our their own pathetic lives? And don't think these shows don't effect people. What about the lady who was cut from Idol and was obsessed with Paula Abdul. Started stalking her and ended up killing herself in front of her home. Now that's reality! I'm sure there were other factors, like she was on pixie sticks too, but...
Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate plus Eight have filed for divorce (rumor has it). A 10-year marriage down the drain because they couldn't take the heat that they caused themselves. I wonder how the kid arrangement will be? Will each parent have to take all 8 kids at various times? Ha! And...one last point. What is it will all these has-beens and old rock stars with their own shows? Who cares if Ozzy has to clean up dog poop (poop's funny) or Peter Brady can't find a date or Gene Simmon's can't find his Geritol. WHO CARES!!!!!! Apparently, the majority of TV viewers doe care and the rest of us are stuck watching old episodes of All in the Family on TV Land while popping pistachios. That's it in a nut shell. Pis out.